What to Do When a Lack of Choices Creates Stress

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I was speaking to a friend this week who was complaining about feeling rather stressed.  She commented that she felt out of control.  But she quickly went on to say that it wasn’t the “I’m a control freak and I need to be in control of every single detail, kind of thing; it’s something else that I don’t recognise.”  We talked for a while about what was going on in her life; choices narrowing, lack of good options, pressure to do things that she didn’t want to do at a time that didn’t suit her.  She suddenly had an ‘A-ha’ moment and said, “I’m not out-of-control, I’m out-of-choices.”

‘Out of Choices,’ what an absolutely brilliant turn of phrase to describe one of the major creators of stress.  Stress Relief with Cognitus (UK) Ltd. Read more »

Celebrate the Small Stuff

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I’m a firm believer in celebrating.   I celebrate getting through the day without spilling my coffee on my shirt.  I celebrate completing my to-do’s for the week.  I also share celebrations.  My hubby and I celebrate completing a challenging level on a video game, finishing onerous chores or even just Friday.  
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Taking time to enjoy and savour the small things balances out all the boring have-to-do’s and missed opportunities.  It is so easy to get caught up in the necessary administrivia and stress of life that we lose track of small victories.   We tend to focus on achieving big audacious goals and forget that we climb mountains by taking lots of single steps.   Read more »

Coping with Saying No to Your Aging Parent

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It’s the age-old dilemma, how do you care for your aging parent while holding down a full-time job and managing your own family?   The answer is; with grace, angst and guilt.  I’m finding that as my parents are getting older they need more and more help.  I am willing to assist as much as possible (given the 5000 mile distance and 5 time zones), but there are times when I can’t drop everything and go to their aid.   This weekend was one of those times.   I was racked with guilt, but when they yelled at me and implied that I was heartless it was suddenly much easier to say no.

This is the first time I’ve had to say “no,” and it probably won’t be the last.   What do you need to put in place to move through the experience with grace?  Read more »

Stress Relief in Just Ten Sounds

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Sometimes when we are stressed we go inwards and get stuck in an unproductive whirlwind of thoughts, emotions and feelings.   This was brought home to me recently during a very fraught and hectic commute.   I was due to chair a meeting and my public transportation choices were not co-operating with my aim to arrive on time.  All the signs of stresVisit Cognitus for great stress relief techniquess were there; shallow breathing, racing heart and spiralling thoughts. 

As I paced at the train station, I was comparing all the possible connection options, weighing stairs and time against cost and taxi ranks.   Then I started on a cycle of questions; is it un-professional to be late, would I be forgiven, did it really matter and why hadn’t I started earlier?   

I really needed to “get out of myself” and calm down.   I opted for one of my favourite techniques, Ten Sounds.    This technique is based on stilling the mind, tuning into the world outside yourself and raising your awareness of sound in the world around you.  Read more »